The Final Rider
by Kerjen
Summary: Saavik is with Captain Truman Howes when she's engaged and then marries Spock. But she had another crew and captain before. What happened? Why do people say they heard what she did for Dannan Stuart in the end? (Note: I lost one of my best friends in the middle of this story. An amazing person. So Lauren's words and star bracelet plus the "What will I do without you?" are real.)
1. Prologue

"Take a look at this." Truman Howes spun his computer to face Saavik, his first officer here on the _Armstrong_. "The Dulkkia sent new requirements for the conference. Command has given this to us. We're the closest to their homeworld other than the _Leyte_ who's already there."

"The changes?" Saavik asked.

"The biggest one is no Starfleet personnel can represent the Federation."

She raised her eyebrows. "That is an issue. We have no civilian diplomats on board any more than the _Leyte_."

"Because the Dulkkia looked forward to meeting people in Starfleet. The problem is, the two officers who beamed down to the surface got caught in lies. Idiots. The Dulkkia wonder if they were ordered to lie, and of course, they don't trust anyone in uniform now."

She scrolled down through the latest requests. "It is interesting that the Dulkkia believe civilians do not lie. However, whether this is naivete or a statement on their civilization is immaterial for this moment. How will we answer these modifications?"

Howes rubbed his forehead a few times. "They're scrambling to get two ambassadors or other civilians with experience, but it'll be days. So, Command is asking if we can get two people, preferably not far from our flight path. They're asking everyone and we'll pick them up."

"Requirements?"

He scrolled down and highlighted the right section. "Two civilians. Outgoing, independent, quick witted, experienced like I already said – you see the list. Why? Know somebody?" He chuckled and then realized Saavik was serious.

 _Of course she is_. "What is it?"

She re-read the same lines and then searched for other terms. "It does not prohibit using people who previously served in Starfleet."

"People who left the service," he muttered before he looked at her with the same curiosity. "You do know someone."

"I do."

But Howes knew enough about Saavik to know something was wrong. "What is it?"

She instead replied, "They meet the qualifications. In fact, they exceed them."

 _What's going on?_ "Who are they?"

"Lauren Warfield and Lynne Hoskins. Their last ship was the USS _Rider_. As you know, I was first officer under Captain Dannan Stuart."


	2. Chapter 1

As guests and with their past service records, Lynne Hoskins and Lauren Warfield earned the full welcome party. They asked for and got a shuttle instead of the transporter. The two women looked around with professional eyes as they stepped out and shook the captain's hand.

"Thanks for agreeing to the shuttle flight," Warfield told him. "It's been a long time since we saw a starship. The tour around the exterior was wonderful."

Hoskins smiled. "She's beautiful."

"Thank you. Quite frankly, we love showing her off. Let me present my officers." Howes introduced them, starting with the lowest ranking in the chain of command to the top. He was a little older than when he and Saavik first started on the _Armstrong_ , his hair going gray, but he still had the rest of his fair looks and remained in magnificent shape. "And of course, you already know Commander Saavik. Best first officer there is."

Lynne spoke with a hoarseness and Saavik noticed the wane coloring. Even her makeup was barely there, almost emphasizing her pallor. She looked so different. "I remember when another captain said that." But she did smile now. "Hello, Saavik."

 _Saavik. Not Savage_.

Warfield was the same woman – physically – that she had been, except her dark hair was straight. Her bold makeup emphasized her blue eyes and strong mouth.

But, the woman she once was would have greeted Saavik with a lot of enthusiasm. This one said, "Commander."

 _Not even my name_. It was the first thing Lauren had said to her since the _Rider_.

Howes and his other officers exchanged looks and Warfield picked up on it. People didn't go through three starships, facing battle on a near daily basis, and decades of years together only to talk to each other like strangers.

So, Lauren forced a grin. "Where's the Boy Toy?"

That was more like it. "Mr. Nachson is _not_ a Boy Toy."

Hoskins responded, "I don't know. He is a lot younger than you."

"He is my protegee." He actually was Saavik's stray, but she didn't want to have to explain the term to the other officers who had never met Amanda.

Warfield spoke in aside to Howes, "Is that what we're calling it these days?"

"Regardless," Saavik wrapped up, "he does not serve on the _Armstrong_ although I estimate that will change in the upcoming year."

Truman Howes gestured to start the tour of the ship. The other officers scattered back to their duties, leaving Saavik and the captain.

"I've heard of Mr. Nachson from Commander Saavik," he said as they walked down the corridor. "Is that how you know him?"

Lauren explained, "No, I met him when he was in the Academy. He reminded me a lot of myself at that stage, actually. Including the 'about to get kicked out' part. I mentioned him to Lynne. She's the one who called… Saavik about him." She forced another smile. "Rest is history as they say."

He gestured for them to proceed him and they thanked him. He asked Lynne, "London?"

"The accent? Yes, on the outskirts."

He looked to Warfield; she smiled. "A little bit of everywhere. Now, just to show you I keep up, this is a Belknap class starship. Right?"

"Exactly right. We're the second _Armstrong_ to be in the fleet. The first was a science vessel, an Oberth class."

Howes was paged to the bridge a short while later. He was showing their guests around Tactical because of Warfield's past as Weapons Officer. Saavik said she'd take the call to the bridge for him, but he said no.

"You three have a lot to catch up on. But," the captain continued to his guests, "I hope you'll join us for dinner."

They both accepted happily and watched him leave. The happiness dimmed.

"Maybe," Hoskins suggested, "we could just go to our cabins. We have debriefings and our plans for tomorrow."

"Of course, this way."

They walked hushed until Saavik took them into Warfield's cabin first.

"Wow," Lynne exclaimed as soon as she got in the door. "Guest cabins have certainly approved. Look at the size of this place and the size of this porthole. You can't even call it that. It's a full window! We didn't have all this in our own cabins."

"It became standard in the latest refits," Saavik explained. When they said nothing else, she went through the rest of room quickly and turned to the door.

But she stopped and gave a bare glance over her shoulder. "You did not come to my betrothal ceremony."

Warfield shrugged it off as she inspected the cabin. "I was surprised to get an invitation."

Saavik turned. It meant they faced off against each other and she wondered if she should move. "It was important to me."

Lauren floundered under her gaze which was why she fired back. "Well. If you had bothered with what _we_ were doing with our lives, you'd know Lynne was really sick. It goes both ways, Saavik!"

Hoskins tried interrupting. "Lauren-"

"You can't point a finger at us and say we're not there when Lynne's going through life and death and where are you? You couldn't visit?! You couldn't contact her?!"

"Lauren!" Lynne pushed strength into it. "She did."

The bombshell dropped over Warfield leaving her gaping. "What?"

"Saavik visited me and she called. She even got me that doctor, the one everybody said I needed to see, but he already had a full caseload already. She had Doctor McCoy speak with him and take me on." Her laugh was more exhale than laughter. "Who thought we'd see the day she used her influence with someone?"

"Why don't I know about this?" Lauren demanded.

Hoskins said it for Saavik. "She did it when you weren't around."

The Vulcan watched Warfield. "I did not want add to her stress with the conflict between us."

"It's why I didn't tell you either," Lynne talked in a whisper. "It also means she knows we could have come to her engagement ceremony. Did… did any of… us come, Saavik?"

"Captain Hunter and Chief Jakobs."

"Mal?!" Lauren nearly shouted. " _He_ came after what happened?!"

Saavik thought of pointing out she didn't lie. If it had been years ago, she would have, but not today. "Yes, he did."

Warfield was left with nothing to say.

 _This is what we have become_. It was her fault.

She retreated for the door. "I will leave you to your debriefing. Captain Howes expects you for dinner and tomorrow begins the talks with The Dulkkia. I will excuse myself from tonight's engagement, however, I am assigned as your escort for the talks. The captain will see no reason to reassign me."

The door closed behind her. She paused in the corridor and then changed direction, getting back on the lift. She sat in her cabin within minutes. She did a few calculations, figuring out what time it was on a certain world.

He'd be out of sessions for the day.

She put through a live connection and waited until he answered.

"My-" Spock took in her eyes, how she sat, everything. "Saavik, are you all right?"

She stared down at her desk like she needed to think about it. She glanced back up and he reached out with a hand at her expression. "No, I am not."

She leaned forward and pressed her head to his hand.


	3. Chapter 2

The Dulkkia built an arena. An actual arena. Warfield and Hoskins entered on the ground level, surrounded by high, rounded walls. Above those were rows upon rows of seats for the Dulkkia.

It reminded Saavik of ancient Rome and its Coliseum; smaller, of course, and with a roof. Like a Klingon court.

It emphasized the sheer beauty of the native people. Somewhat humanoid with an epidermis that was clear. So was their internal biology, all a glowing, shimmering, translucent clear. And inside those, vibrant colors based on race. Spines of amber energy like a comet traveling up the back. Electric blues and shimmering reds as if they had golden dust mixed in with it.

In the head was a collection of millions of fine strands, almost like the fiber optics of old Earth. These moved and traveled around the head to form features. They would group together to create eyes, a nose, a mouth, ears, but a Dulkkia could choose to pull thousands of fibers away from the mouth, for example, to strengthen hearing or seeing or both if the moment needed it. And these delicately pulsing strands fed into the head for a swirl as gorgeous and powerful as a nebula that formed their brains.

The arena added more light with added crisscrossing beams and more energy to the air with pounding music. It was a diplomatic conference turned into an entertainment exhibition. Best thing that happened to the Federation was their hosts changing this to civilians because Hoskins and Warfield were born for this.

They had been best friends for most of their lives in circumstances that make or break people. They moved in sync as if they created choreography. They came into the arena with Warfield out front and Hoskins a step behind and to her right side. Their arms and faces were lifted high and they gestured for the Dulkkia to raise their cheers in volume. As the cheering went up, the music went up too and they upstretched their hands higher: the gods' champions. The crowd adored them.

Lynne and Lauren smoothly went back to back and spun in a slow circle. They reached out to everyone looking down at them, but not with disdain. The opposite. After one revolution of their spin, Hoskins and Warfield went shoulder to shoulder and they locked hands high in the air and stood tall, already victors.

A silver bracelet on Warfield's right wrist picked up the light. Saavik knew the outside of it had interlocking stars and the inside was engraved, "Dannan: best friend, big sister, partner in crime". Lauren never took it off.

She now signaled for quiet and things dulled to murmurs. The music continued but as background. Saavik noticed someone at a control panel and guessed he tried to match music to move.

Warfield grinned at him.

"You were right about these two."

That was Howes, speaking into the comm earpiece Saavik wore. He watched from the bridge.

"Yes, I was," she agreed. She stayed back in the shadows at the entrance. The focus had to be on the other two women. They were the only ones allowed to speak.

Warfield took a step forward, a herald for her universe. "Here's why you need to join the Federation." A rumble went around the arena. It was mixed; Saavik couldn't pick out if it favored one way or another. Lauren went on like they hadn't made a sound. "We need you."

The sounds were all confusion.

She repeated it with emphasis. "We. Need. You. Why wouldn't we?"

Hoskins came in. "You are a silicone life form. Born in streams of gel substances that my species can't live in. But when you are born, your skeletal structure, your epidural structure opens and takes that in to finish your body. From birth, you are something we can never be. And that is brilliant."

Warfield picked it right up. "We have wonderful people in the Federation. Have you looked at them? You should. They have something in common with you. Your world can take the Federation into a direction _nobody_ else can like theirs did. That's more than pride and accomplishment. That's a legacy. That's life for today and every day after it."

The two women constantly moved, constantly engaged new sets of eyes. Lynne spoke, "What does that mean? It must be something for you, that's only fair. We give you _us_." Some laughed. "You should laugh! My friend and I are human. You don't have humans, but! The Federation does. In the Abroth mountains, you harvest golden Eathea eggs for your Rastrora Festival. The air, moisture, and terrain in the deep caverns means you have to wear protective gear and even with modern technology to help you, a few of your people are always killed. But. Lauren and I could go into those caverns and retrieve those eggs for you with no added gear and no worry about death."

"That's why it becomes what it does," Warfield finished. "All these unique beings bringing together in unity something we can't achieve alone. We keep who we are, but you get something else from it. Such as."

"You have enemies at your northern border," Lynne's voice now sobered. "It's costing you lives. For all the honor of each fallen warrior, there's something else. Imagine now Starfleet standing by your side. All the numbers of ships."

Saavik surprised them by activating holos of the Fleet to dash about the arena, level with the first row of seats. The Dulkkia at the sound controls switched to a low, epic instrumental.

Lynne recovered from the surprise. "Your enemies become our enemies and we have faced people like your adversaries where the sheer numbers of our fleet and the strengths of our diplomatic corps brings the war to the end. They listen when we say, _Enough_!"

Lauren said and Saavik took it as the signal to clear the ship holos, "When you have all of these unique beings giving their different viewpoints, it comes together to solve other problems besides battle. Like the illnesses attacking your people." She glanced at Hoskins.

"I'm an example of it. I contracted Brion ADL. It was fatal just a short time ago. The cure wasn't found by any humans. Scientists on Jocheron Y5 found it. If they hadn't joined the Federation, I would have died. In return, Vulcan scientists found a solution for a terraforming problem that was destroying the Jocherons' land and killing their people."

Warfield took a stance in the center and Saavik brought up other holos showing different ways the Federation could work with The Dulkkia to enrich them all. She watched their hosts bringing up private screens to get a better look. The music switched to light and uplifting.

Lynne and Lauren stood with their backs to the displays. They wore black slacks and light blue blouses in different styles, the same colors as their old uniforms missing the jackets. They seemed to be the Commanders they once were.

Lynne's voice rang out. "That's enough with speeches for a while."

Warfield's head raised with the corners of her mouth just lifting. "First question."

. . . .

Howes lifted his wine glass in Hoskins and Warfield's direction. "That was excellent work."

They clinked glasses and beamed. "Only day one," Lauren teased, "but at least we didn't get kicked off the planet."

They were in the formal dining room, but with all other formalities gone. No fancy centerpieces, not the posh china or silver; no dress uniforms, in fact Howes told his people they could be in off duty dress if they wished and a couple were.

The captain looked to his left. "Saavik, the holos you added caught their attention. It was a solid combination of approaches."

Warfield spoke into her glass as she sipped. "A heads up would have been a good idea."

Saavik said, "I had no time and I knew you were both adaptive."

Howes chuckled. "Does this mean a Vulcan acted on a hunch?"

"Correction, Captain. It means I reacted both on the facts and stimuli at the time."

He snorted. "Masters at justification or at least you are. Which is the real reason I made sure you didn't miss dinner again." He refilled his glass as he spoke to his guests. "We – I mean all of us –" he gestured to the other officers, "have been excited since we heard you were coming aboard. We have been picturing all the stories you must know about Saavik and we want to hear every one of them."

Lauren and Lynne exchanged glances before the latter tried redirecting those expectant stares. "We know plenty. I bet you do too and we're just as eager to hear those. Like you two, how did you meet? Just an assignment?"

"No." Howes looked at her oddly for changing the subject. "She saved my life or at least from me being badly hurt. I told her then that I was on the lookout for good officers. I knew my captain's chair was right over the horizon. I wanted good people to come with me."

Warfield pushed her plate away. She refilled her glass and drank it quickly.

"The cap's leaving out the best part." Pax Harlen, second officer, with swarthy skin and a tattoo around his neck that became popular for crewmen starting in Earth's 20th century: for those I love I will sacrifice. He missed Lauren's reaction as she read the words. "Commander Saavik found him down in this building collapsing around them. She's got to get him out before they're killed there, but there's nothing long enough to reach him. So she uses this piece of cable and _then_ uses herself for the rest of the 'rope'! The cap had to climb her! That's a way to meet someone!"

Howes' fair skin blushed hard, but he managed to give believable narrowed eyes at his officer. "What's the current punishment for insubordination?"

Harlen grinned and toasted his captain.

Lynne said to Howes, "Collapsing buildings? You need better assignments, Captain."

Every officer sobered and did a variety of actions showing discomfort. Howes set his glass down slowly and deliberately. "It was Tomed."

Hoskins dropped her fork and even Warfield turned startled eyes on Saavik. "You were at Tomed?!"

"Yes," she replied calmly.

"From the beginning?!"

"Yes. First aboard my ship for the battle and then on the surface with the aftermath teams."

Lynne picked up her fork again although her fingers became clumsy with it. "I'm glad you weren't hurt."

Saavik nodded, then no one said anything and it stretched awkwardly. Howes ended it by lifting his wine glass. "To say thank you for all of us who made it out of there and to say we miss you to the ones who didn't."

The rest of dinner passed all right, the mood lifting again after a while. Lynne and Lauren did take their turns giving out stories including how they met, what rebellious behavior almost got Lauren thrown out a few times, and what they were doing now.

When dinner finished, Howes asked them to have a nightcap in his office, especially to go over the next day's business. Saavik started joining them, plus a few other officers, but the captain needed them to finish other tasks.

He escorted his guests to his office. "Have a seat," and he drew two chairs around the side of his desk so it didn't sit as a barrier between them. He opened a cupboard underneath a statue of the _Armstrong_ where a vintage NASA astronaut came down from the starship on a ladder and put his foot down on the moon.

Howes hung his red uniform jacket on the back of his chair. He poured their drinks as they politely remarked on the furnishings, including the antique highlighted on his shelves below the model of a sailing ship.

"That is a vintage Apollo Sextant and Scanning Telescope," he explained. "The old Apollo astronauts used that for celestial navigation. Saavik gave it to me. It must be a replica, because how would she get an original? I figure it's better not to ask and either way, I love it."

He sat. "Now then," he began pleasantly.

"Right, tomorrow's conference." Hoskins settled back. "We need to change our approach. Give it its own touch. We hammered on their uniqueness benefiting us with a secondary layer of the benefits for them. We'll swap that tomorrow."

Howes spun his glass on the desk. "Sorry, I misled you about that. We're not here to discuss the conference."

Lynne's forehead furrowed. "Then what?"

His eyes snapped hard on the two of them. "You explain to me what the hell you think you're doing to my first officer."


	4. Chapter 3

Warfield banged her glass down. "Who do you think you are?!"

He retorted, "Her captain and her friend."

"You forgot something, Captain," she shot back. "We're not in Starfleet anymore. We don't take orders."

They got up, but that was as far as they got.

"Cowards," he said. "That's not the right word, but to hell with it. Were you ever her friends?"

"You don't know us," Hoskins said in defense.

"No, I don't, because what I see in the records and what I hear from people is what a tight group you are."

"Were," Lynne murmured.

"You made that obvious. You barely talk to her with any civility. You won't tell a simple story about her. You didn't know she was at Tomed! How did it never occur to you that she may be in a battle that took thousands of us! And from there, it was a simple check to see if she was." He got on his feet. "Here's the thing she didn't tell you. She got hurt there. Not in the battle, but on the surface, beaten by a group of bigots with _pipes_. I see I have your attention now. Guess where that group of bigots came from? Her ship. Her _captain_ set her up."

Both women looked ill. Lauren muttered, "We didn't know."

"You should have. You keep up on ship classes but not on her?" Howes bit out. He drew their chairs back and gestured for them to sit again. "Unless you can tell me she's retreated completely from your lives. Would she know if it happened to you?"

They said nothing.

"I'm guessing that's a yes." More gently, he said, "So. Do you have enough of that old mentality to tell me what's going on?"

They exchanged a look in silent conference before they took their seats and their drinks again.

Lauren started. "If you really want to know, I have to back up a bit or you won't understand."

. . . .

"Who proposes at _breakfast_?" Warfield exclaimed, eyeing Stuart.

Dannan beamed and hurried her steps to their favorite dining hall. "That's the point. He'll never expect it, it'll be a total surprise!"

Saavik's longer legs made it easy to keep up. "I was unaware he expected you to propose at all."

"That too."

Lynne got in a last comment. "You do go on about how marriage isn't for you and things like marriage are obsolete."

"I was wrong," Stuart answered. "It's _very_ much for me." She stopped before the mess hall door sensors picked them up and opened. "I thought you were going to say women don't propose."

Warfield scoffed at that. "That's the kind of thing we regularly ignore."

Dannan took a deep breath and then flashed a wide smile at the three of them. "I got this." She walked in and took less than a second to find Mal Jakobs. She made straightaway for him while Warfield and Hoskins passed her to shoo away the people sitting around Stuart's lover. But then they planted themselves on either side of the table to see what was about to happen. Saavik chased them off.

Jakobs stared around at all of this, smoothing his mustache, but his eyes couldn't go any wider when Dannan knelt in front of him.

"Mal," she pulled a ring box out of her uniform jacket, opened it, and presented it to him, "will you marry me and make me the happiest woman in the world?"

Exclamations rang out followed quickly by other people saying, " _Ssshh!_ "

Jakobs shook his head as his lips parted into a smile. Still, Stuart began to wonder why didn't he say something.

"Mal, I know I used to say I never wanted to get married, but that me was wrong. I _want_ this, Mal, I want all of it if it's with you. I talked with Tommy," Jakobs' son by his first marriage, "and got his permission. And, and I looked up what to say traditionally because I thought you might like that."

He wrapped his hands around hers even with the ring box. "Oh yeah, because this is all real traditional."

Dannan gave this little attention; he was only teasing. "Don't you want to say something to me?"

"Yeah." He couldn't look happier. "Yeah, I do."

She couldn't believe it when he pushed his chair back and knelt in front of her. He pulled a ring box from his uniform and he opened it to show her.

"I was going to wait for tonight at dinner," he said.

"Told you!" Lauren cried.

The smile now was in the glow in how he looked at her. "I should've known something was up when these three-" He nodded sideways at Saavik, Hoskins, and Warfield, "told me to keep the ring on me all day. Just in case. And I talked with Tommy and your mother. Hunter even called me. So, Dannan, will you marry me and make me the happiest man in the world?"

Tears started falling down Stuart's cheeks. Mal looked so amazingly… handsome and wonderful and everything for her, in front of her, the two of them kneeling and with these rings. "Now what do we do?"

Mal took Dannan's hand, the one holding the ring she got for him, and led it to his left hand. "Yeah, I'd love to marry you and get it right this time."

Apparently caught between tears and grinning, she slid the ring on his finger. She placed a gentle kiss on it and then held up her own left hand. "Yes, I'd love to marry you and get it right the first time."

Jakobs put the ring on her finger and then pulled her in for a kiss and a tight hug.

Warfield jumped up and called out to the dining hall, "This is how you do romance! Take notes, people!"

Hoskins surprised them with champagne. As she popped the cork and caught the rush of bubbly liquor in a glass, she announced, "It's a shame this wasn't the wedding, because it'll never get better than this!"

Saavik offered to take Stuart's shift on the bridge, but Dannan replied, "I have to go up for a little while. But I'll leave early." She gently touched Jakobs' mustache. "What about you, Mal? Can your superior officer let you out early?"

He kissed her fingertips. "I think I can make that deal."

Stuart took in her little circle with a glance. "Then let's get this done. I have celebrating to do."

Lynne, Saavik, and Lauren followed at a respectful distance and they piled into the lift for the bridge. Dannan tried to figure out a way for her and Mal to comfortably hold left hands so their rings touched while the other women laughed (not Saavik, of course), congratulated, and practically cheered (also not Saavik).

When she fumbled again trying to figure out the left hand thing again, Saavik with a Vulcan mask of stoicism moved Jakobs to stand behind Stuart. She then had his hand spoon the back of Dannan's so their fingers could thread together and their rings touched.

Stuart beamed. "Thanks."

"Like all Vulcans, I am excellent with my hands," Saavik replied unruffled.

Warfield gave a wicked cackle. "A lot of people's fantasies would jump a hundred light years if they heard that line."

Dannan settled happily where she stood. Her man, her mom giving her approval, her former captain Hunter calling for the fun of it, her best friends, and the _Rider_ around her. She had everything.

. . . .

Lynne Hoskins stared down at the carpet in Howes' office seeing another time and another place. "It's funny. All the years, all the moments. But when I think of us, I think of that moment first. Standing in the lift together. Just… _brilliant_."

Howes laid his hand on top of his glass. "You said I needed to hear that."

Warfield glanced from the corner of her eyes. "Yes."

"Why?"

She lifted her head. "To know we were perfect."


	5. Chapter 4

Saavik's lines about mourning on Vulcan come from a few sources; I changed a few words to fit the situation.

* * *

"Come on, Iggy," Dannan complained. "You seriously aren't saying that _I_ am interfering with your freighter run? How many times have I pulled your – nacelles out of some Orion pirate's fire?"

The man, a little shorter than average with a small-boned build, scowled from where he stood by the main viewscreen. "You know I hate the Iggy thing, Stuart."

"Okay, Igor." _Like that's better._ "The rest is true. So is the fact that the _Huran_ freighter design is terrible against the Orions. When are you going to get a new ship?"

"When the _Stone Bucket_ breathes her last. Then I'll move the name to a new ship." His sickly medium-ruddy skin, his oval face with its lined forehead, tiny light blue eyes, flat nose, stained lips, and jutting chin always made Dannan's skin do a cliché crawl.

He also paced when stressed and started circling the bridge.

" _Stone Bucket_ ," Hoskins muttered.

Igor Gomes snarled at her, "The _Rider_ could use a refit, so you can get your nose out of the air."

 _You did not just compare my baby to your freighter!_ "Maggie," Stuart appealed to the _Bucket_ 's first officer and Ig's wife, "you tell him. I haven't seen you in over a year."

Saavik explained, "One year, five months, three weeks, and six days in Federation standard time. I would give the hours and minutes, however, Margaret has stated on previous encounters that she preferred I did not."

"Thank you, hon!" Maggie called out to the Vulcan. Strands of her frizzy strawberry blonde hair constantly blew about her thick neck and heart-shape face with her widow's peak, hazel-green eyes, and short nose. Her thin lips beamed at Saavik who gave an upwards nod in acknowledgement.

"You see how friendly we are?" Dannan demanded of the freighter captain as he came by her chair. " _How_ then am I interfering with your run? I didn't know you were out here!"

Igor bent down into her face to emphasize what he had to say. He tripped a little and grabbed the command chair before he hit the floor. He did anyway. Then he went on about how it was a previous trip that he'd just found out about; Stuart gave a cranky thought to how she'd planned to leave the bridge an hour ago. Instead, she had to deal with this mosquito of a human being.

Speaking of annoyances – she rubbed her neck. _Now something's wrong with the air conditioning!_ Cold air started blasting on her a minute ago.

Ig sounded like he was wrapping up as he passed Saavik, but then he took a deep breath and kept going. That was the proverbial last straw.

"Igor! Quiet for five seconds before I beam you back over and – just quiet!" Dannan spun her chair. "Engineering, what the hell is wrong with the air? It's right on my neck!"

Naoto Nakagawa, the engineer's mate currently at the Engineering station, checked the status of those systems. She could see it for herself over his shoulder. "The system reads fine, Captain." He got up and came to stand next to her. "That's really strange."

Dannan blew out a breath. She shouldn't snap at her passengers because she had a chill – and they insulted her ship. _It's really because I thought I'd be off duty with Mal by now._ "Ig, Maggie, I'm sorry."

Saavik interrupted. "Margaret, Igor, hold. Mr. Nakagawa?" she asked.

"Nothing should be creating this draft, Commander."

She suddenly spun back to her station and hit controls in a blinding speed.

"Saavik?" Dannan was the one to now ask.

The Vulcan shot to her feet. "Red alert! Remove the captain immediately to Sickbay! Have a medical team and a Security detail meet the lift! Restrain the passengers and take them to the brig, and lock a tractor beam on that freighter, do not let it leave! Transfer functions to the battle bridge and evacuate!"

Nakagawa and Warfield rushed Stuart the second Saavik gave the order. Dannan tried to process what had just happened. Her mind swam and the only thing that sank through the fog was that Iggy started grinning, then melted into shocked, and then sickened.

. . . .

"That's why you're mad at Saavik?" Howes asked. "You think she should have figured it out sooner?"

Warfield shook her head. "No. In fact, Sickbay said she did a good job on making the connection that fast or the whole bridge crew could have been killed."

"Was it the freighter captain?"

She sounded so tired. "Yeah and no. Maggie and the rest of the crew had no idea. Iggy, the idiot, had been played for a fool. He had been convinced that Dannan had been screwing with his business behind his back. He was also told that he could get revenge, but he thought at a low-level. He put this little canister right underneath her chair, at the back edge. He thought it'd make her dizzy and she'd fall on her face. He'd get to laugh and, supposedly, she would contritely swear never to mess with him again."

Lynne told Howes, "An Orion pirate was really behind it, named Jommoh. Lost to Dannan too many times. He had the canister made up and played Iggy as his patsy."

"He believed an Orion pirate?"

"No, Jommoh got to him through a middle man. Saavik went on the warpath – we all did, of course. And she figured it out."

"And it was a gas?"

Her eyes glistened from held back tears. "Yes. Something new. That was the hell of it."

. . . .

"So," Mal repeated, running his thick fingered hand over his bald pate and into his remaining black hair, "a gas, clear, and poisonous. It works like something you saw before."

Their Edoan chief medical officer bobbed his hairless, rather goat-like head. Like the rest of his people, he had three arms, three legs, red skin and yellow eyes. Another Edoan, Lieutenant Arex, once served as the _Enterprise_ 's navigator while Chekov trained to be a weapons officer.

"Yes," he said at a fast pace, "it's a toxic enzyme."

Saavik's head went up. _No, it would mean—_

"It works like Earth's cholera toxin or ricin or my people's _tuobvo_ ," Dr. Ashol continued in his light, reedy voice. "It acts by preventing protein synthesis. Most on the bridge are barely exposed. Nakagawa had direct exposure, but a short time. We can handle those cases. We will give supportive medical care to minimize the effects of the poisoning. Even Nakagawa's will be nominal."

Warfield leaned over Danna's medical bed, very careful to put her hands on the bed frame, not her suffering friend. "What do you mean _those_ cases?"

Ashol swallowed and it was painfully obvious with his Adam's apple traveling down that long, thin neck. "The captain was the target, the apex. Her exposure – the poison causes cells to slowly halt and essential operations to cease as enzymes aren't produced."

Saavik understood that; it was why her head shot up when he said toxic enzyme.

Malcom Jakobs' voice rose louder and louder. "You said it was something you've seen before!"

People turned at the raised volume but saw who it was and why, and turned away again, unable to watch the disaster.

Ashol shifted on his three legs to move closer to the Chief and grew gentle. "I said it is _like_ poisons we know. Actually, it is new. Poisons like this – we only found antidotes for ricin and the cholera toxin in this century. They have existed for hundreds of years. I attempted synthesizing an antidote for this poison based on what we've learned in combating these toxic enzymes." He put two hands on Jakobs' shoulders, holding his scanner in his remaining third. "But it will not happen fast enough for the captain. I'm sorry."

Lynne Hoskins was open mouthed. "Are you saying…?"

Lauren Warfield stared. "You don't mean that."

Saavik spoke slowly as her gaze rested on Stuart. "He does."

Warfield lunged. " _You don't mean that_!"

Hoskins pulled her back and then clutched on to her. Saavik's eyelids drifted close.

"Don't do that!" Lauren shouted. The Vulcan's eyes snapped open. "Don't close your eyes like that! You do that when someone—when someone-" Warfield's eyes darted everywhere. "I'm going to kill Iggy."

Saavik cut in front of her. "You will not."

Lauren stabbed a finger into the Vulcan's face. "Then you go down there and meld with them! Don't give them a choice! He brought this thing here, he knows the antidote. Tear it from his head!"

 _Like Valeris_. "I will not."

Warfield shoved her, but she didn't have the strength to push a Vulcan off their feet. Still, the motion stung psychologically. "What is wrong with you?! It's Dannan! That's the only priority!"

"Agreed." Saavik's voice was hard, but only because she tried getting past the barrage that consumed Lauren. "Forcing a meld is unnecessary, however."

"And how do you justify that?!"

"Because I already performed a meld on Igor Gomes at his insistence. He has been played for a pawn, used without his knowledge until now. He knows nothing about this gas. He did not even know it was in the canister. He believed it was Nitrous Oxide."

"Laughing gas," the doctor translated.

"It's still his fault!" Warfield screamed. "You got to make him pay!"

Saavik used her voice to drill down through the other woman's pain so she could hear reason. "We cannot blame him for the subterfuge. In the legend of the Troy war, it was the Greeks who killed the Trojans, not the wooden horse."

Lauren slumped. Saavik thought she might need to grab hold of her before she collapsed, but Warfield hung on.

Lynne muttered, "If I had just turned around… Iggy couldn't put that canister there if I was facing Dannan. But Iggy's pacing always got on my nerves so I kept my chair turned around and let him kill her."

"Belay that," Saavik ordered. "We all wish we had prevented this in some way. It does not make us responsible."

Mal asked the Edoan, "Doc, is she gonna wake up?"

"She can," Ashol answered. "We only rendered her unconscious in an effort to slow the toxin's effect. It has not helped."

"Wake her up then. We… got to tell her and we should probably let the crew know." Mal looked sick. "All the things she faced and this is how she-" His jaw muscles jumped from how hard he clenched it.

 _No. She deserves more._

Saavik interrupted. "Chief, allow me a moment of latitude. Doctor, will she be in pain?"

"No. It is one thing we have done for her."

"Is she aware of her condition?"

"No. We administered the sedative immediately at the lift."

"What will she experience if she is awake?"

His face furrowed in thought. "Fatigue, mostly. Perhaps a little difficulty breathing, but nothing more than a mild chest cold. In fact, she will merely drift off – at the end."

Saavik took what time she could to ask, "Can you estimate what remaining time we have with the captain?"

Ashol looked to Jakobs when he replied, "An hour. A bit more, perhaps."

Mal, Lynne, and Lauren all shook, jerked in place, made exclamations. Saavik consciously kept her controls around her as she contacted the engineer.

"Has the bridge been cleared of the gas?"

"Yes, ma'am. Do we have any word on the captain?"

"We do, Commander. I will address the crew shortly. Inform the alpha shift to return to the bridge."

"Commander! What's going on?"

" _In a moment_ , Mr. Borrer." She cut off the communications and caught Jakobs' eyes as he gripped Dannan's hand between his. The one with the new ring. "This is what I suggest."

She'd nearly said _propose_ but it was a bad word to use now.

He listened and didn't interrupt once. Lauren and Lynne did, and each time, Saavik repeated that they needed to let her finish. She knew she asked a lot of them; what she wanted was unheard of but she believed it was what Stuart would want.

Stuart whose lifesigns took a little dip. _It is merely her deep sleep._

When Saavik ended, Mal's watery eyes dropped like heavy weights.

"You're the first officer."

She replied, "You are her consort."

He squeezed his eyes shut and forced the tears from his voice. "Okay. Let's do it."

"I don't know if I can," Warfield protested.

"You can." Saavik was firm. "It is for the captain."

She waited for Lauren and Hoskins to agree and then put through a ship wide hail. "Attention all hands. This is Commander Saavik."

. . . .

Truman Howes waited in case there was more, but both Lynne and Lauren had faded out. He had switched to coffee; Warfield finished her second drink while Hoskins had the exact same drink at the exact same level as when she started talking.

"I know what happens next," he said, sympathetic.

"Of course, you do," Lynne cut in.

"Everyone does," Warfield said, deadened. "'You served with Dannan Stuart?! Is it true what they say? That you—'" She pushed her glass across the desk to be refilled.

Howes figured she could handle it without it affecting her work the next day. Besides, she earned it with what she relived.

"I've heard people ask Saavik," he said as he poured. He wondered if they heard the gentle reminder that the Vulcan carried this burden too. "What I meant originally was, I know what happens next so you don't have to tell me."

"Yes, we do," Warfield insisted with no more energy in her voice.

"It's all connected," Hoskins finished. "The whole bloody thing."


	6. Chapter 5

Dannan snapped awake and looked wildly around the bridge. Mal stood next her chair on her left. "Did I fall asleep?"

His face screwed up. "You can't call it that. Your eyes just kind of dropped for a second."

Everybody was where they should be, except Iggy and Maggy were gone. And wasn't she being dragged _off_ the bridge?

Saavik appeared on her right and summarized what had happened: Iggy bringing knockout gas aboard (her first officer raged in a wrath of God kind of way with the transporter staff for letting it through and then tore Iggy apart), then Dannan being unconscious for a while and then they came back to the bridge.

"What would I do without you?" Stuart announced.

Saavik gave her one of those Vulcan enigmatic looks. "What would we do without you?"

"I shiver to think about it!" and Dannan gave an overdramatic shudder.

The Vulcan cut through that, of course. "The doctor stated you may not remember what followed directly after the event. You may also experience a growing fatigue." She cocked her head. "Should I relieve you?"

Stuart grinned. "You know better than to ask that. Back to your station with you." She waved her hand with an imperious flair. "Did you make Iggy repent for saying the _Rider_ needed work?"

"Aye, Captain."

"Good job." Dannan took in Mal holding her hand and gave his a tug. "Holding hands on the bridge?"

He bent down. "Yeah. Holding hands on the bridge. You're the captain, right?"

"Yes, I am." She kissed his hand and then watched the stars go by on the viewscreen. "It's a beautiful day here in outer space. Weather is perfect."

Saavik turned her chair. "Captain, you attempt to lead me into an argument regarding weather patterns in space."

Stuart grinned. "Yes, I do. But, it _is_ a beautiful day."

She needed to cough suddenly and everyone's heads shot around to her, eyes wide and staring. "Easy, people. It was just a cough. You heard your decorated first officer. It's to be expected from the gas. Although, I might let you take the rest of the shift, Saavik. I was going to leave hours ago."

Mal pressed their joined hands to his chest. "Why don't we stay for a bit more? Enjoy this beautiful weather. Then we'll go get an early dinner in our cabin. Finish the day."

Lauren and Lynne came up to her other side. "Are we invited to dinner?" Warfield wanted to know.

Hoskins tacked on, "You always say you adore us."

"I do," Stuart answered. "Very much. Now go away and stay away from my cabin."

"What about Saavik?" Lauren teased.

"Do not involve me," the Vulcan replied.

Lynne hovered around the captain's chair, looking like... _What?_ "We love you back, you know."

Lauren said, "Very much. You're a best friend, a big sister, and our partner in crime."

"I know that. What is it with you two?"

"As you said, Captain," Saavik piped in, "it is an important day."

"I said _beautiful_ , but I'll allow the change." She chuckled again at her first officer. "Hold on. Big sister? Lynne, you're older than me."

"Only by a month."

Hoskins and Warfield went back to their stations and Dannan enjoyed the stars. What had she thought earlier?

 _I have everything._

Just to underscore that, she heard from her mother whose red eyes came from "happy tears for you" and Hunter who asked, "Did you really propose at breakfast?" Dannan's mother signed off with "I love you" to which she said, "Love you too." Hunter ended with, "I'm lucky to know you," startling her, but she answered with an equally meaningful, "I'm the one with all the luck because you took me in."

A person could explode from this much happiness. _It'd be worth it._

Dannan started feeling sleepy again and began to say something to Mal. She decided on one more minute to enjoy what was around her and kissed his hand again. There was something to be said for savoring the anticipation.

She fell asleep watching her friends, fiancée, and her ship going through space. Like the Twain quote on their dedication plaque.

She whispered it without meaning to: "Explore. Dream. Discover." It really was a great quote for her and her ship.

She fell asleep before she knew she did. Then… she slept for eternity.

The bridge crew got to its feet as Hoskins, Jakobs, and Warfield broke down into tears. He brought Dannan's head against his body and cradled her in his arms.

Saavik watched the blonde head lying there against the man, heard everyone's grief, and pulled the mantle of command down on her shoulders. She went to the communications station so Lynne didn't have to come away.

"Sickbay, send your team to the bridge immediately."

The doctor sounded quiet. "Yes, ma'am."

Saavik opened another channel. "All hands, this is Commander Saavik. I must inform you…" She stared into the air. "…the captain has died. Assume your posts as we discussed."

The turbolift opened and the medical team spilled out. Jakobs waved them off when they started picking up Stuart. Instead, he did it himself, lifting her and laying her gently on the gurney. He brushed her blonde hair away from her face and kept holding one hand.

Hoskins approached him with a silent question and he nodded to both her and Warfield. They clustered around Dannan.

Saavik held back, only because she had to. She ordered the command crew to get their replacements to the bridge and then finally went to Stuart's side. She spoke the traditional phrases in Vulcan. " _Oh starless night of boundless black_ _._ _Loss of life is to be mourned, but only if the life was wasted. Yours was not. May your death bring you as much peace or more as the peace you found in life."_

Saavik thought of telling Jakobs, "I grieve with thee," but decided he wasn't ready. Neither were Warfield or Hoskins. Neither was she.

Lauren saw her and held out Stuart's other hand. Saavik took it; that outstanding life force was gone. She still held on for a moment.

Stuart had quoted the dedication plaque.

Saavik gripped it and tore it from the wall like snapping a twig. People stared at her, stunned; she ignored that. She brought the plaque to Dannan's side opposite Jakobs and laid it there with Stuart's hand resting on it.

The other bridge officers went down the lift first, leaving Mal, Lynne, and Lauren with Dannan.

And Saavik.

As soon as the lift doors opened for them on Deck 5, Commander Hawk gave the order, "Honors ... hup!"

The crew lined the corridor; they were everywhere in the ship, snapping to attention. The ones here, Stuart's command staff and more, watched as their captain went by. Some cried, others forcibly didn't; some touched her, others started straight ahead in painfully perfect stances.

Saavik trailed behind, making sure the captain's last march went the way she would have wanted.

. . . .

Warfield suddenly asked Truman Howes, "Do you know why Saavik put the dedication plaque with Dannan?"

The captain blinked at the unexpected question. "Because it was the _Rider_ 's."

"Yes, but not just that. You know how Starfleet changes the format on the plaques?"

He nodded.

Lynne spoke, "They had brought back the tradition of putting the captain on it. So, it said, _USS Rider. Dannan Stuart, Commanding_."

Truman thought it over. He did remember when they were made that way. Saavik's action would make sense; Starfleet would have to make another dedication plaque regardless. Except, "I feel safe on betting Saavik would have done it anyway."

The two women exchanged glances before Lauren gave a reluctant, "Yeah, maybe."

Howes sat forward, putting his arms on his knees. "You can't find fault with what she did for Stuart. I told you, I've seen people say they wish someone would do it for them."

"We're not finding fault," Lynne swore. "She did the right thing. We, we couldn't change _why_ Dannan was dying, but we took back for her _how_ she would die. We gave her that, everything she loved. She was _happy._ "

"Saavik did that right," Lauren said, rubbing her forehead, "that and the funeral."

The captain frowned. "What did she do for the funeral?"

"Not _for_ the funeral," Hoskins specified. " _At_ the funeral. Believe me, there's a difference, in this case anyway. You see… Alisa Stuart, Dannan's mother, didn't like what Saavik did on the bridge. She said Dannan would rather know and go down fighting, but Mal told her he had agreed. Somehow that helped her. It was more like she blamed Saavik for Dannan's death."

"Why?" Howes demanded.

Warfield answered, "To have someone to blame. She buried Dannan with her uncle and brother back home in Northern Scotland. Meaning Dannan's uncle and brother. Alisa was quiet the whole time. First, she buried herself in her studio – she's an artist – and then she stood there, stiff and quiet through the whole service. It was cold and gray and everything you could possibly hate outside, but we hung around after it – Mal, Saavik, and the two of us – because we were worried about her. We thought we should help for Dannan's sake. Saavik went up to her to say – I don't know what – and suddenly, Dannan's mom snapped! She yelled out, ' _Damn_ your Starfleet! It's taken everyone!"

Lynne explained, "Dannan's uncle, Alisa's brother, was Kirk's chief engineer."

Truman's eyes grew wide. "Montgomery Scott?"

"Yes, and her brother Peter Preston was a trainee on the _Enterprise_ when Khan Noonien Singh attacked. He was killed, and like Dannan used to say, only one person came back from the dead from that mission."

The captain recalled something. "Scott wasn't killed on duty. He left for retirement. …I hope Saavik didn't point that out to his sister?"

"No," Hoskins said, "it would have just aggravated her and Saavik's been around humans long enough to know better. She let Dannan's mum rant at her about that and then, it got personal. Alisa started _screaming_ at her, 'You're supposed to keep her safe! You're supposed to bring her home alive!' It was horrible."

Howes remembered what Leonard McCoy had told him at Saavik's betrothal ceremony to Spock.

 _"Just don't expect Spock to keep her safe. It's her job to go in harm's way."_

Harm's way; it was what a first officer did for their captain and it was why Alisa Stuart screamed at Saavik.

"And she kept slapping her!" Warfield jumped in. "Hard across the face over and over, and she got more upset each time and that only made her hit harder. I thought she'd break her hand."

Howes snapped, "Why didn't you stop her?"

"We were stunned!" Lauren argued. "We couldn't believe what we were seeing! Then I realized that because Saavik's Vulcan, the hits had no effect. Literally. Hit you or hit me and what happens? Our heads snap to the other side! But with a Vulcan? It's like hitting them with a pillow and since Alisa was – was -"

"Ineffectual," Hoskins offered.

"Ineffectual," Lauren continued, "she got more and more upset."

"Mal finally yelled to Saavik," Lynne told Howes, "'Move your head!' Her back was to us so she had to look over her shoulder, which meant Alisa couldn't see us. We showed Saavik what we meant and then we went to stop Dannan's mum. But once Saavik did swing her head the way a human would, Alisa collapsed."

Warfield looked like she didn't want to say what she was about to say. "Actually, she first hit Saavik again and yelled, 'My _children_ and my _brother_ are dead and you! You're alive!' That did her in and she just fell. I don't know where that came from, she's never called Saavik anything like that before."

Howes pushed down his temper. "And Saavik?"

"She wouldn't let us touch Alisa. She knelt with her in the dirt and she said-"

"'You are right,'" Lynne's voice broke as she quoted the Vulcan. "'I did not bring your daughter home safely.'" She lifted her head from where she stared into space; it seemed to take great effort. "After insisting it wasn't our fault, she took the blame. We told her over and over it wasn't true."

Truman leaned forward. "Did Alisa Stuart keep blaming Saavik?"

"No and she apologized."

He nodded slowly. "Anything else happen right away?"

His guests exchanged a look. Warfield turned her face away. "We tracked down Jommoh, the Orion who really killed Dannan."

"And?" he encouraged.

Her mouth grew tight. "Command offered the _Rider_ to Saavik. She turned it down."

 _Not surprising_.

"Then we seem to be at the end of our story and I still don't know why you're treating Saavik this way. So, please. _Why_?"

Warfield looked poisoned herself and ready to snap, so after another glance at her, Lynne answered him.

"It was when our new captain came on board."


	7. Chapter 6

Caden Viloria: dark brown, curly hair, darker than Saavik's; purple eyes, set deep within their sockets, that went over the command crew standing in the transporter room for him. Medium build, light skin, and a scar from a dagger across the back of his right hand. The strap to a duffel bag crossed his chest. Normally, Warfield and Hoskins would make a whispered remark on his fortunate looks, but not today and not about Stuart's replacement.

"I hate him already," Warfield whispered low enough so only the Vulcan heard her.

But Saavik was the first officer. Duty required that she welcome him, so she moved forward as he stepped down from the transporter pad.

"Captain Viloria, I am Commander Saavik, first officer and science officer of the _Rider_. We welcome you aboard, sir."

She hadn't said _your_ first officer, although she'd done it unconsciously. She had greeted him like a guest. Would he notice? For that matter, would he see that she had protectively moved in between him and the crew?

Also done unconsciously which meant a lack of control.

She still carried the mantle that she took on herself at Dannan's death. It was time she passed it on to his shoulders: the heir to Dannan Stuart's chair. Her ship. Her crew.

Now his.

"Would you prefer to settle into your quarters, Captain, or a detailed tour of the ship? Or perhaps meet with your officers?"

"That's the option we're taking." He walked down the line of them, friendly and still professional. It was a good tone to set. His experience would tell him so; he had commanded a smaller ship before this assignment.

Like Stuart who had captained the smaller _Venture_ before getting the _Rider_. Of course, the majority of captains did – Kirk had captained a smaller destroyer – so the comparison really had no impact.

Viloria gave his first instructions as captain. "Go to the main conference room. I will stop at my cabin for a minute and I'll meet you there. Don't worry, it's good news. Commander Saavik, will you join me?"

"Aye, sir. Dismissed," she told the line of officers.

They waited for her and the captain to exit the transporter room and then they filed in the other direction.

Viloria looked this way and that as they walked, smiling and nodding at the crew's greetings.

Saavik spoke. "The remainder of your belongings have been placed in your cabin, sir. They were transported from the station before your arrival."

"Thank you. Uh." He turned to her. "I haven't worked with Vulcans before. Do I say thank you or-?"

She lifted her eyebrows. "Whichever you prefer, sir. I will not be insulted either way."

He snapped his fingers and grinned. "Because you're Vulcan."

She bobbed her head. "Exactly, Captain."

He started walking again and they soon reached his cabin. All of Dannan's things had been packed and sent home. Mal had asked Saavik if she wanted anything as a keepsake. She almost told him no when something caught her eye: a holopic of Stuart, Peter, and Scott at the family home. Dannan's mother made the frame in her studio with a symbol for each of them and one for herself in each corner, like Peter's pony Star and Scott's bagpipes (their sound in Saavik's ears at Spock's funeral), for the people they were outside Starfleet.

Alisa Stuart had a copy of the holo and agreed that Saavik could have this one, the only person in Dannan's circle who knew everyone in the photo.

There was also one of the four women – Stuart, Warfield, Saavik, and Hoskins – as well as them with Malcom Jakobs, but they each had their own copy of it, so Dannan's went to her mother.

Saavik looked around and saw in her mind's eye the cabin go from Dannan's things to bare walls to mementos of a new captain.

Viloria gave the crates a cursory glance to make sure everything was here and here safely.

"Sir, if you would rather, I could reschedule the conference to allow you to stow your belongings."

"That's not necessary." He opened a small box and took out a holopic of himself with a large group of people.

 _Family_ , Saavik guessed from how closely he resembled them, although she couldn't tell just what family makeup they were. Parents, siblings, cousins? She'd read his record so she knew the children weren't his.

"You turned down the captain's chair." He put the holopic on his desk. "Sure that was a good decision?"

She folded her hands behind her back. "I am better suited for my own position."

"You've been in it a long time. You ever think that you risk stagnating? Staying inside your comfort zone isn't a good thing. We need challenges, especially a starship crew."

It was odd he made that argument when her refusal gained him the _Rider_. Still, it was good that he was conscientious of his first officer's career.

"I would suggest, sir, I 'step outside my comfort zone' continually when the very definition of our work is to seek out the unknown."

He smiled again. "Good point. Let's join the others."

It was a repeat of the walk to his cabin with his greeting his crew. Logically, Saavik knew he was her captain now, but as she had said over Stuart's body, Vulcans mourned people they lost and she wasn't finished mourning Dannan Stuart.

Not even close.

So Caden Viloria was her commanding officer now, but her grieving meant their 'clicking together' – as her human crewmates called it – would take time.

He appeared to understand, she gave him that, and it would mean a lot to the crew who still reeled from their loss.

Saavik took her place at the conference table as he sat down at the head. Everyone had been whispering before they came in and stopped when they entered. That was normal and he didn't bother to address it.

"I know you've had a bad time," Viloria began. "I know what that's like. But I told you I had good news and I do. We're going to do good work for the fleet and that means for the Federation too."

"At least half of you," he continued, "came to the _Rider_ with Stuart from her previous command, the _Venture_. A few of you even served with her on Hunter's _Aerfen_. Both those ships are Border Patrol and then you came to a full cruiser. That's a unique point of view that many in the fleet don't have."

Lynne spoke in a monotone. "Captain Stuart knew how to put together a good team. It's one reason why the _Rider_ did so well under her command."

"Yes, it is," he agreed. "That brings me to the good news. We're going to continue that work. You are being reassigned to new posts. You can see it here." He flicked a few controls and brought up a report.

Saavik started to protest, but Warfield beat her to it. "You call that good news?!"

The skin around his mouth tightened, but that was his only sign. "Yes, Commander, I do, because you're repeating what happened here. You will spread her legacy. You'll strengthen other ships like you did with this one because of that singular skillset. A stronger ship is a better fleet, a better fleet is a stronger Federation. It also gives you new challenges which can only improve you."

Hoskins' voice dropped as she read the report, as if she saw horror. "We're going to different ships. None of us are together."

 _It cannot be_. But there it was: her name and only her name next to the USS _Benfold_.

The mantle was still on her shoulders after all. She had to save Dannan's crew. "Captain, I was assured by Command that this crew would remain intact."

As a condition when she turned down the captaincy.

He answered, "And that was the original plan until I thought of this. Command agreed with me."

"I should have been in on that decision, sir! As it is, I was not even informed of the change. Our unique group works due to its interactions. The _team_ works, sir. Separating it will not create the same effect elsewhere as we will not be that group responsible for it here. In addition, this crew is still healing, Captain. Separation will only aggravate the trauma."

Viloria seemed to give this thought, but shook his head. "I took all of this into account, but a far greater amount of data shows I'm right. Wouldn't that make it the logical decision?" Before she could tackle that argument, he said, "Look at what you did discovering a new lifeform and their culture along our borders with the Klingons and Romulans."

"I am aware of what I did to find the Arongotu, sir, and have already shared all material on how I achieved that discovery."

He still was genial. "Not all processes can be duplicated without their creator. Think of what else you can find in new territories. Not to mention, you served with Kirk, so you know that members of his team left the _Enterprise_."

He had picked a bad argument. "They all returned with the exception of Captain Sulu who received his own command shortly before Captain Kirk's retirement."

Lauren Warfield came back with a fury. "You're taking us from our home, from the people who are family to each other! That's the opposite of good news and I refuse to take it!"

Viloria's eyes hardened. They had pushed too far. "You and everyone around this table are Starfleet officers. You swore an oath to put the Federation and Starfleet ahead of yourselves. You go where you are ordered. No exceptions."

She slammed her hands down on the table. "Then you can have my commission. Effective immediately."

Warfield was just out the door when Hoskins stood up. "You have mine as well, Captain." She followed her best friend out.

Saavik got to her feet. "Allow me to speak with them, Captain. I will point out the mistake this is."

But he denied her. "If they want to retract their resignations, they know where I am. Meanwhile, the rest of you need to pack. You leave tomorrow for your new assignments. Your captains look forward to meeting you."

Saavik looked around the room: what Dannan Stuart had built was destroyed.

. . . .

For the second time, Truman Howes waited for his guests to say more, but they faded out again, both of their faces puckered up from their pain. He thought carefully about what he wanted to say.

"I'm sorry. I still don't understand. I get why being pulled apart like that, especially after losing Stuart, would be terrible. I'd feel the same. But Viloria did that, not Saavik."

Warfield ground out, "If she had taken the captain's chair, Viloria never would have got the chance to pull us apart! It's what she was supposed to do!"

Lynne put in, "Dannan expected it. Everything would have stayed together. Saavik would appoint a new first officer and we do the work we were put together to do."

"Saavik refused command positions before," he pointed out, "and it looks like you didn't have a problem with it."

"That was different," Hoskins said. "That was leaving the _Venture_ or the _Rider_. This was taking over for Dannan, the way she was meant to."

Howes couldn't believe this. "She had Command's promise to keep the crew intact."

"If she took the captain's seat," Lauren insisted, "Command doesn't get a chance to change its mind."

"She suffered the same fate you did. More than you. _Benfold_ was the ship that attacked her."

Lynne shook her head. "We're sorry about that, we really are, but it only proves our point. She wouldn't have been on the _Benfold_ if she said yes to being the next captain of the _Rider_."

Warfield pushed more. "If she had done that, then she did what she's meant to do. What Dannan wanted, to take care of her ship and her crew!"

"You're not seeing it," the captain insisted. "She thought she was doing that."

"She was wrong. And she was selfish."

"I was wrong," Saavik surprised them in the doorway, "but I was not selfish."


	8. Chapter 7

"I apologize, Captain," Saavik said. "I did use the door signal, but received no response. When I heard the raised voices, I thought it best to enter."

He told her that was fine and she nodded. "If you don't mind, I need to speak to Warfield and Hoskins."

"We left Starfleet," Lauren chided. "The last name thing isn't right anymore."

Saavik's dark eyes said she didn't care about that. "Captain?"

His light blue eyes were naturally narrow, so they looked like they searched her. He gentled his tone. "Of course. Dismissed, Saavik. Ladies, I thank you for talking to me."

They thanked him too and Saavik gestured for them to go first; she said nothing until they were in the lift.

"You involved him." Her hands were folded tightly behind her.

Lynne corrected her. "Captain Howes involved himself."

Saavik's brows drew together. "Why?"

Hoskins pulled at the hair at the nape of her neck. "He didn't like how we treated you. He wanted to know why."

The eyebrows shot straight up. "You told him?"

Warfield came back hard. "We had no reason not to."

Saavik met her stare for stare. The lift doors opened on the VIP guests' deck. "We must settle this whichever way that may be."

Lauren started to slip by. "It is settled."

Saavik got in front of her. "No. This time, I will have my say as well."

She gestured once more for them to go ahead of her and Warfield led them to her cabin. She spun around at once. "Are you threatening me?!"

"You take listening to someone speak as a threat?"

"We said everything already!"

" _No_." Saavik bore down on her. " _You_ said everything you wanted." She looked at Hoskins. " _You_ said everything you wanted. Then you walked away without listening."

Warfield shouted, "Did you turn down the captain's seat on the _Rider_?"

"Yes. You know I did."

"Then there's nothing else to say." Lauren fell back on the couch. The Dulkkia homeworld showed in the window behind her as the _Armstrong_ circled it in orbit.

"You are wrong, Lauren."

Warfield looked up at her first name. She fidgeted for a second then reached for a small box she had put on the table next to her when she unpacked.

Lynne appeared willing to at least be diplomatic. "Saavik, if we're going to – get out everything, then I need to put aside for the moment how you helped me when I was sick. I know what I owe you, but I can't have that hold back what I say."

"I would not want it either."

"Good. So tell me, how are we wrong?"

Warfield sat back in her seat and put a foot on the low table in front of her. Her right hand dropped there and now a bright colored piece of plastic in the shape of an animal wrapped around her finger.

Saavik stood still. _The dragons_.

An inexpensive children's toy, that was it. Stuart, Hoskins, and Warfield took shore leave together on the Terran colony Proheria; Saavik joined them for dinner at a boisterous restaurant where she almost turned around and left before Dannan gave her an order to stay. Hoskins, as a joke, asked for three of the dragon toys. They could stretch to wrap around a finger for a ring, around the wrist as a bracelet, even around the ear to be a cuff. The three women giggled, played, and laughed like little girls, exchanging childhood stories, and making up silly yarns to go with their playing. At the end of the meal, they scooped them up as mementos – and to torture Saavik with them. That was what they were doing when the manager came running out with local Security, shouting they hadn't paid for the toys. It was a ridiculous thing to do, it was an honest mistake and cost little, but for some reason, all three women became beet red in the face, stuttered, and panicked. Stuart called for the _Venture_ to beam the three of them up, leaving Saavik to handle it. The Vulcan did by simply paying for the three dragons, but when she was face to face with a captain and two shipmates who embodied the word chagrined, she let them stew for the rest of the day.

The red and black one on Lauren's hand once belonged to Dannan. She had named it 'Wild Fire The Scarlet Charred' – which her first officer declared a ludicrous thing to do - and spent a month leaving it in little hiding spots where Saavik or the other two woman would stumble upon it. They transferred to the _Rider_ shortly after that and Stuart wore her dragon on her wrist when she arrived.

Saavik's eyes went from it to Warfield. "Do you take notice of what you are doing?"

"It's just a toy." She tapped along the back of it and the dragon stretched out, wrapping its head around a finger, spreading its wings along the back of her hand as its tail circled her wrist. It emphasized the silver, star bracelet inscribed with Lauren's last words to her friend and captain.

"It is cruel and disturbing that you deny you use the memory against me." She prevented Lynne from speaking. "It is also evidence that I need to say my view, for my own sake, and leave. How did you describe the _Rider_ to Caden Viloria? How did you describe us?"

Lauren looked confused and Lynne tentatively responded, "The _Rider_ was home. We were a family."

Saavik's "Yes." was barely a breath. "I did not act selfishly when I turned down becoming the captain after Dannan. Let me finish. I have always listened to you. I did not believe I could lead that… family. I could not be what it needed as its head. Our dynamic was so delicately balanced. I thought the least disruptive means would be to keep everyone where we were and find someone closer to Dannan than myself. It was the best way to serve the _Rider_ rather than me as captain."

"Better than what happened," Lauren flung at her. "Is this where we say you weren't selfish?"

"It is irregardless to me if you do or do not. However," she bore down, "we will discuss your selfishness."

Warfield was actually surprised. "What are you talking about?"

"When I met you, you outranked me."

"And then an admiral got mad at me for nothing and that ended that."

"No. _You_ ended that. You claim you were too 'maverick' to be accepted in the Fleet, but you ignored how Dannan and Hunter were equally nonconformist. They succeeded and became captains. If you had taken yourself and your career as seriously instead of deliberately becoming a mockery of yourself-"

"Watch it, Saavik!"

"—shocking for the sake of shocking, mocking for the sake of mocking. It stopped being about principles and exposing what needed to be brought to light, and became hiding behind a mask. You would have had second officer on the _Rider_ at least and when Command came to me regarding a new captain, I would have supported _either_ of you," she made a point of including Lynne, "and the dynamic would have stayed relatively the same."

"But not exactly," Hoskins pointed out.

"'Better than what happened.'"

"We were better suited for our positions, not command," Warfield shouted.

"That is what Is I said regarding myself. You told me I was selfish and wrong." Saavik let that sink in. "However if events had happened as I planned, we would have been better than if I were captain."

" _You_ should not have given them any chance to screw us over!"

"And _you_ should not have stormed out of the fleet! What purpose did it serve?"

Hoskins yelled, "You expected us to stay there and give that man the satisfaction of _ruining_ everything!?"

"Your leaving was of no consequence to him! It made no difference to him!" Saavik caught herself. "However, I also thought Viloria was so career minded, he would stay with the _Rider_ for the short term only in an effort to move up. I would have made you see what we could accomplish and you would take second officer. Then I would do as I said, support you for the captaincy. Instead. …Instead Viloria put us off our ship and you left Starfleet so I could not devise a way to reunite us and take back the _Rider_. Or find another ship."

She stared at the stars and the revolving world behind Lauren for a quiet moment. "Fortunately, I found a position here on the _Armstrong_. You most likely know the rest of Captain Stuart's command crew likewise found equally fortunate places."

She guessed by their looks Warfield and Hoskins didn't know that. But it wasn't their responsibility; she had been Dannan's first officer, not them.

Saavik spun and marched for the door where she stopped. She turned back. "If you insist on blaming someone other than Command and Captain Viloria, I am not the only one in this room you must find guilty."

She left.

. . . .

Lynne and Lauren spoke only professionally the next day and claimed they needed the time for working instead of another dinner. The third day was the same. Saavik stayed in the background as they dealt with their hosts in the meeting/exhibition.

At the end of the conference, Howes, out of respect for their service records and what they accomplished here, suggested a final dinner and once more insisted Saavik be there in her rightful place. Hoskins and Warfield sat down and Truman Howes made a few polite remarks. Lauren looked up and down the table.

"So. You want to know a few stories about Savage? Oh! She didn't tell you about that name? My mistake!" And she flashed a bright smile.

"Let's see," Lynne pretended to think, "let's start with the time a Deltan ambassador came on board the _Aerfen_."

"Then!" Warfield exclaimed, "We'll move on to her being a Christmas elf and go on to her almost walking naked around the ship."

"Then," Hoskins continued, "there's a certain devastatingly sexy Romulan who can get you anything you want as long as you have Saavik with you."

Warfield settled in like she lectured a class. "Take notes, people."


	9. Chapter 8

The next morning, Saavik stood in Lynne's cabin as she and Warfield prepared to leave. All was well.

Lauren stashed a few items in a bag. "And we would love it if you'd reel in Rrelthiz."

The Vulcan frowned. "I was unaware you spoke with her."

"She contacted us," Lynne explained. "She said she learned from her mistake when you and Spock didn't talk because of Valeris and she didn't notice. So when she picked up on that we weren't talking, we had one quite angry reptile on the comm."

"Carreon honor," Warfield finished. "It's a scary thing when you on that end of it. We were only saved from her retribution by her not wanting to upset you. Otherwise, someone would have found us by our toes."

Quiet suddenly fell down on them before Lauren's voice grew heavy. "I hear they're decommissioning the _Rider_."

Saavik nodded. "Along with other ships of the class. Standard procedure: new classes are created and older ones are retired."

Hoskins blinked against suddenly wet eyes. "We should be there. We'll get Mal and anyone else who can make it so we can say goodbye to… her."

"An excellent idea," Saavik agreed. "It may help to know Command announced there will be a new _Rider_."

"But this one's ours," Warfield said and then thought about it. "But I am glad she's going on."

She crossed the room to stand right in front of Saavik. "Send me a wedding invitation?"

Hoskins smiled. "Both of us."

Saavik nodded lightly. "I would like that." Her brows drew together. "You should know Vulcan wedding invitations tend to be… hurried."

Warfield grinned. "Why? You going to be knocked up or something?"

Saavik gave every sign of a Vulcan's patience being tested. "It is good to see you have kept your genteel ways. Who even uses that phrase or practice anymore?"

Lynne checked the time. "I hate to break this up, but we'd better head for the transporter room."

Saavik quietly agreed and then stopped them before they picked up their bags. "Return to the fleet," she entreated. "I can have your commissions reinstated and we have places for you here."

Warfield swallowed. "Thank you. We thought about it. But it's not our life anymore. We built new ones."

"That's got nothing to do with you." She smoothed the Vulcan's jacket braid. "The fleet still suits you. You suit it. It's a good thing."

Saavik slowly nodded again. She knew both these answers, but she had to ask. They were silent in the corridor when Lauren suddenly spun and grabbed Saavik's wrist. She hurriedly placed Dannan's toy dragon there, activating it so it wrapped around along the back of her hand and settled.

Saavik lifted it to her eyes, remembering. She took Warfield's own hand and shooed the little red and black toy to her. She interrupted Lauren's protest. "This was the memento you chose. I will not deprive you of it." Again, she forestalled her old shipmate's objection. "Dannan's memory is best served by your having them and not me. It reminds us how you left me behind to settle your theft matters."

Lynne fed her the straight line. "Like you could have done any better."

"I would not have been caught. Of course, I would never be guilty of stealing a children's toy in a restaurant."

A corner of Hoskins' mouth lifted. "Where _would_ you be guilty of stealing a children's toy?"

Saavik lifted her eyebrows.

Warfield looked at the little dragon on her hand. She went from it to the Vulcan. "You're right. I'll keep it." Her mouth twitched. "But if a restaurant contacts you about a certain pair of humans supposedly stealing a toy dragon…?"

"I will never have heard of you."

Lynne shot back, "You'd lie?"

"One does much for self-preservation."

The rest of the walk mixed their old friendship with a loathing to part again. Howes met them in the transporter room and said his goodbyes. Lauren and Hoskins repeated them.

Lynne spoke from where she stood on the transporter pad. "Savage. See you soon?"

Saavik immediately agreed. "Yes, and before the _Rider_ 's retirement."

"We'll call you too."

They started to fade away. "Take care of her," Warfield said to Howes.

He nodded firmly. "I will."

Hoskins got out, "No more Tomeds," before she was gone.

Howes came to Saavik's side. "Can I ask you a question? It's about Stuart. Did you put the dedication plaque with her because it had her name on it?"

She looked him in the eye. She didn't measure him against Dannan or anyone else. He was himself and he was good to her; he helped save her life from the _Benfold_ crew and brought her here. "What it said did not matter to me. What mattered was it was hers."

"That's what I thought," he replied warmly.

The bridge hailed them. "Commander Saavik."

"Saavik here."

"Ambassador Spock for you, ma'am."

"I will take it in my quarters." She turned to Howes. "I will relieve you at the next shift, Captain."

He nodded. "Oh and Commander? Do I get to call you Savage?"

She gave him a look of mock arrogance. "Of course not. Sir."

He grinned. "That's the way it should be."

She made way to her cabin and opened the channel to Spock. He had contacted every day since that first one when the pain was so bad. He had even tried getting to her.

Her screen became filled with the handsome features of the person who meant more to her than everything else combined.

"My Saavik." Spock took in everything written in her features. "Are you all right?"

Her eyes never left his. "Yes."

She leaned forward and pressed her hand to his hand, at peace. They were perfect.


End file.
